A woman's heart is an ocean of secrets

TIPS for first wedding night.

Your first night as a married couple may be different from the way you imagine it.
Difficulty Level: Hard Time Required: all night
Here's How:
Accept the fact that wedding nights are perfect only in the movies.
In most cases, you're either going to be exhausted from the event or totally wired.
Neither is the best state of mind for the best sex of your life.
So take the pressure off yourselves.
Shower and change into comfortable clothes.
If it feels right to you, and you still have out-of-town friends around, invite them to your honeymoon suite.
If that's the craziest advice you ever heard, ignore it.
Order room service.
After the food and drink arrive, slip the "do not disturb" sign on your door.
Share with each other the high points of the wedding, and what you remember most.
Present a small gift to each other (see below for ideas).
Arrange a wake-up call if you need to catch a flight.
Don't rush things. Start with a massage, perhaps.
If you don't plan on starting a family immediately, plan in advance for the birth control you'll use.
And if the sex isn't the greatest thing you ever experienced, don't fret. You've got a lifetime to perfect it.
Tips:
No children. Anywhere.
You'll remember this evening for the rest of your life, so make an effort to make it special.
Candles, a subtle fragrance, music you both love can enhance the occasion.
Even if you usually sleep in a T-shirt or naked, consider wearing something special to bed on this night.
Remember, it will NOT all be over in the morning.
Speak Up for Better Sex

Laura Gilbert
Despite all the pop songs, TV shows, and movies about sex that would have you believe otherwise, a lot of us (or so we hear) are having sex that is average, even boring. For young people, particularly young women who haven't yet had an orgasm, sex can be something of a challenge because they're still discovering what turns them on.
"One problem among young people, particularly men, is that they learn about sex from watching porn," says Karen Gless, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in San Diego, CA. "In bed, they mimic the big, dramatic moves they see in porn films, but that's not necessarily what feels best for their partners," she says.
What's the solution? Well, talking about what turns you on can go a long way towards better sex. If your partner's technique leaves you less than thrilled, or if his or her attitude could use some adjusting, perhaps the two of you should be talking more and boinking less. But beware: criticism directed towards a partner who's naked, insecure, and doing his or her best can result in years of neurosis and sexual low self-esteem. Here's some advice on how to get your partner clued in without hurting his or her feelings.
Say What You Mean Begin by telling your partner exactly what the problem is from your point of view. For example, "It's hard for me to get hot unless you spend some time touching my chest," or "I feel like I'm doing something wrong when you don't respond," are approaches that avoid the twin communication-killers of "you never" or "you always."
Ava Cadell, PhD., a clinical sexologist in Los Angeles, CA, suggests spending some time outside of the bedroom talking about your sex likes and dislikes. Talk about what you'd like to try, what makes you queasy, and even those kinky fantasies you've never shared with anyone. "You'll find out what one another likes and learn about what lines not to cross," says Cadell, the author of Confessions of a Sexologist (Peters, 1999).
Practice Aural Sex If you're not the type of person who'd ever be comfortable giving your partner a laundry list of sexual requests ("First, stroke the back of my neck, and then..."), you can use your communication skills to drop some hints to your partner in a more subtle fashion.
"When you make noise in bed, it releases your sexual energy, and also turns your partner on by letting him or her know that he or she is doing a great job," says Cadell.
The following are Cadell's tips on creating great aural sex:
Pump Up the Volume: Start by cranking up the decibels on your littlest "oohs" and "aahs." "Because having sex in silence is like watching a movie without sound," says Cadell.
Stick to the Basics: "There are two things that everyone, no matter how inhibited, can say during sex," says Cadell, "They are "yes,' and your partner's name. Just be sure you've got the right name."
Practice Makes Perfect: To beef up your sexual vocabulary, start by listing common expressions for body parts or sex acts that you like. Practice saying them out loud when you're by yourself. Once you're comfortable hearing them aloud, you'll be less shy about using them when your partner is in the room. Just make sure that you're really on your own when you're practicing. Your roommates or co-workers don't need to know your nicknames for your partner's private
Ask a couple of guys for wedding-night advice...and you're likely to get a suitcase full of smart-alecky comments. Sigh. I tried, dear readers, I tried.
I emailed a cross-section of men this question:
"To have a fabulous wedding night, what should the groom-to-be know?"
You'd think I was asking for their PIN number or computer password. I got generalities, evasions, wise cracks. Which, come to think of it, are all somewhat characteristic of your typical wife-husband interrogation.
By and large, these guys just weren't willing to spill the beans and talk seriously about tender lovemaking techniques. But rather than calling married men uncommonly evasive, let's give them the benefit of the doubt: When it comes to discussing what goes on behind closed doors, they're discreet. At least most of them. Herewith, their comments:
"It is unwise to spend too much time opening those envelopes on one's wedding night. Save it for immediately afterward."
"Let the bride know that passing wind will be a regular occurrence for the duration of your marriage and she would be best served to join in the fun."
"Go easy on the spirits. The only thing worse than a morning-after hangover is the inability to deliver the goods on the wedding night."
"Do NOT, under any circumstances, turn on 'Sportscenter' immediately thereafter. There's plenty of time for that later in the honeymoon."
"Remember that the bride has just endured one of the most stress-filled episodes of her life, and her immediate goal may be to achieve unconsciousness, rather than sexual Nirvana. If she already has achieved unconsciousness, do not attempt to wake her. Also, you are drunk, and probably slightly obnoxious, and most likely wouldn't 'perform' up to either of your standards. If you posses the self-control to let her get a good night's rest, the next morning will be heavenly."
"What's so special about the wedding night these days? it's not like it's the first time. My advice: go with the fantasy. It's not often that dreams and reality cross."
It's all in how you say it...marriage is about communication, You need to put your best self forward, especially in a new situation."
"After the ceremony, it's too late for advice. Best wishes and good luck!"

posted by Anna Wayne @ 11:57 PM